David had a whole heart for God

Very interesting day today. Mostly because of the morning. I went to a church called Cornerstone Baptist. One of my male intern friends invited me. He's kind of a weird fellow. Very assertive. So being the follower that I am I agreed to go to church with him. Definitely a "fire and brimstone" type church. My first clue that I didn't fit in was when I say all males (even the very young) in full suites and ties and all women in dresses. I of course was wearing khakis and an un-tucked colored shirt. :) Everyone was very nice but I sensed their motives to be based on adding to their numbers of the "saved." People were yelling throughout the sunday school and service time. Both from up front and the crowd. During a congregational prayer time I was approached and asked if I was 100% sure I was going to heaven when I die and why God should let me in. I replied with Sunday school answers and he left me alone.

It was unlike any experience I'd ever had. It was very interesting and I don't regret it. It was sad how legalistic the church was. They were so set on following the rules. They kept using phrases like, you better be reading your scripture and following Jesus so that you don't backslide. Which doesn't sound that bad like I just said it, but they would say these cliche phrases over and over again. They would always talk about things with an us vs. them overtone. Us being the righteous and them being the sinners going to hell. Of course there is a lot of truth in all of this but they came across as arrogant. Not exactly the type of people to come along side of a crying prostitute or drunkard to see where they're at and show them God's love for a lost world. I don't believe their methods will have any success in today's society. People don't want to be yelled at for what they're doing wrong. How is that appealing?

Are they saved? It's hard to say and I can't know. But I would venture to guess that most are not. From what I saw they rely on their own efforts to save them from our fallen state.

Something occurred to me while sitting in the pew that I must mention. The pastor was saying how all these bad things had happened to their church. He mentioned several different vandalism occurrences including some from "satin worshipers." He said that on one occasion the damage had amounted to half a million dollars. I don't know if when he used the term "satin worshipers" he was merely exaggerating the state of the lost world in general or if he actually meant satin
worshipers. But I was thinking, it seems like evil would attack the strongest opposition to its cause. So why doesn't this type of attack happen to the less conservative less legalistic churches like mine? Even if it was just the general lost world which the pastor was speaking of, that's a lot of damage - a strong attack. This makes me think they might be on to something. If the devil is truly attacking this church they must be doing something good for the sake of the Kingdom.

So how will I sleep tonight? Three answers. First, these attacks really do happen to other churches (yes even mine now that I think about it) and so we must be on to something as well. Second, the pastor could have been exaggerating the damage - not too surprising, considering what they abandon to be "saved," our helpless eternal state, how hard is it to believe they would abandon the strict truth in relaying this vandalism story? Third, these guys probably do a
good job of ticking people off. If they relate to the lost world in a way which even remotely resembles their fervor within the church doors I can see people going to great lengths to hurt this church because of the lack of love shown to the outside world.

Today is Father's Day. I would like to honor my Father. He has shown a never ending supply of love to me. He even gave up his car for me to use for 6 weeks. Besides the direct benefits from such a Dad he is an example which has eternal significance. Thanks for everything Dad.

Forming the Ties

I've had such good times lately! Unfortunately good times usually means spending more time with friends which means not as much posting. Sorry to put you all through that.

Christi and I and a few other interns met with Kristin Wood (a friend from school who lives in town) the other night. We went to a pizza place and then downtown for ice cream. The greatest part was the ice cream afterwards when everyone but Christi, Kristin and I left. It was so much fun! It's hard to express. I just felt like because we had things in common (JBU) we were able to connect in a way I hadn't really experienced since I came here. And let me tell you, Kristin is absolutely halarious. She makes me genuinely laugh. We were all just being ourselves and completely relaxed. I heart that time.

Several other great experiences took place last week and this past week including a party/get together for all the interns and a viewage of End of the Spear with the group. Both times were excellent but I felt last night (End of the Spear) was particularly satisfying. This is because I felt even more connected to the group and comfortable. I talked with this girl named Mia who I found out was homeschooled. It was good to share common experiences. And this other girl named Stephanie who I thought was a complete control freak and far too forward for a girl, is actually turning out to be a cool person. I enjoy talking with her. Come to find out she's half Iraqi. Kinda interesting. Sorry, I don't mean to bore you with my social drama but I'm merely sharing this to show how I've connected with a good group of people. It will be sad to leave them next week. But I'm kind of thankful I haven't had a longer time with them so that my departing doesn't rip too much flesh.

I've definitely gotten a lot closer to Christi. She and I have really opened up to each other. I can joke around and almost completely be myself around her. I do and say many things around her that I never would have before this summer. You know when you see someone literally every day for five weeks you tend to get to know them. She's a great friend. It'll be weird when she leaves this Saturday.

It's been very hard to fight the natural tendencies of attraction but with only a few days left of seeing her for the summer I think it's safe to say God has allowed me to be successful in this area. By successful I mean not falling for her. She's not for me.

Last night while watching the End of the Spear I made a funny. Would
you like to hear it? OK! So there was this tribal people in the movie and they had different ways of life than us of course. It was really pretty confusing to try to understand the whole male/female and parents/children relationship. So Stephanie shared her frustration about this and I said in a Crow voice (from MST3K) "Where's the family structure??" They all laughed. And then Stephanie said, "They need Focus!" It was a great moment.

I worked on a Breakaway advertisement to promote a renewing of the subscription. It was really quite fun because I was given some creative freedom. I turned it in to Tracy (one of the senior designers) and he liked it. So he "routed" it which basically means he let the so called client give us feedback. (Even though Breakaway magazine is part of Focus, the creative department still considers everyone a separate "client" -- kinda weird) So it came back and they liked it! I was actually really surprised because the client almost always finds something wrong about the design. So I burned it and gave it back to Tracy. I wasn't extremely excited about the design, but they all liked it, so I was happy. Perhaps I'll email it to myself at work tomorrow so I can post it.

IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIiIIII

I've started this post a couple times already. Both times trying to make a profound observation on life. When really it's just me, Jeremy. A normal guy who experiences the exact same emotions as every one else on this planet. So look at yourself and what you want out of life and project that on me.

Think the thoughts you did last night in bed before you fell asleep and place that ---->here<----.

Put your thoughts about your discontent for life without a lover ---->here<----.

Put your theatrical emotional highs ---->here<----.

There. There's your post for the evening.

This is me, sorry about the dirt

I am terrible. I've done such evil. Let me start from the beginning.

I couldn't sleep well last night. My mind was racing. I woke up in the middle and boom, something captivated me. And it didn't stop for quite awhile. When I woke up this morning I wasn't exactly feeling refreshed. I tried to sleep as long as I could but I can never make it past 7:30 because of my sleep routine. So I got up, ate breakfast, messed around on the computer, and went back to sleep. The service wasn't until 11. When the alarm went off I certainly wasn't ready to get up. I was of course sleeping soundly. So the entire time I was getting ready for church I was not in a good mood. I certainly had a bad attitude and let's just say wasn't afraid to express my frustrations verbally.

The plan was for Christi to come over at about 15 till and we would go to church. She didn't make it till a few minutes before the hour. Of my priorities I hold punctuality high. Christi is normally very disciplined and punctual. But not today. I could tell it was going to be a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.

I was slightly frustrated with Christi, but only as much as you can be with a good friend. I didn't talk much at all on the drive to church. Christi was chipper. A regular sleep pattern seems to be crucial to my right state of mind. Walking in late always kills me. Especially when I couldn't stop thinking about the last guy I heard preach at this church (two weeks ago) who commented on the rudeness of being tardy.

After church things became better. Probably because I woke up. Christi and I made Hamburger Helper® ( <---- I just had to do that because I remembered the hotkey from work.) for lunch and I taught her Backgammon. Randy had just taught me. She left and I ebayed. I then napped for half an hour till I had to get up to check on an auction (I know, it's a rough life). I called Sean and ebayed some more till, to my surprise, I scored a sweet deal on a Powerbook. Needless to say, I was heaps excited.

I then went to Pierced, which is a service for college age folk at Woodmen Valley Chapel. Very very excellent. Meaningful music, stellar message. The bloke talked about Jacob's manipulative perspective on life. Up until the point that Jacob wrestled with God he was a heal grabber or deceiver. But when he wrestled, he confronted God and let Him do His work in Jacob's life. There was clash, he showed God who he really was, but it was worth it because he became Israel - one who has wrestled with men and God. When Jacob made himself vulnerable God changed Him.

So what is this evil I have committed? I am selfish. I was grumpy and frustrated because of the way things weren't going this morning. Then I was so happy because I was able to chill with Christi and also buy a Powerbook. How pathetic is that? This temporary world has a hold on me!

But more than being shallow, I have not been honest with God. That is the evil which I have committed. I did things, said things and had thoughts without admitting it. I believe one of my greatest enemies is passivity. By that I mean doing things without acknowledging them and drifting along. I should at least! at least! complain to God about why I think I cannot not sin. Then I'll be one who wrestles with God. When you wrestle with God, you kinda lose ya know?

His Breath Lasts Longer

Why do I breathe?